Thursday, December 21, 2006 . 1:04 AM

alot of things being stuck in my heart... i really feel so sad... these few days i really control myself alot and never lose my temper at all already... why dun u appreciate it... somehow things are really not alright and i don't know what has gone wrong. my heart is really aching. i don't want to hide it anymore. things are not alright. we're not like what we used to be.

its nobody's fault here. maybe i'm just being a fuking idiot again but i seriously feel so sad.

i already gotten use to this new pace of our lives already. i kept drowning myself in my work so that i wouldn't have miss u so much because i'm really trying to stay really positive but its not all this that made me feel so painful, i just couldn't find the reason.

my parents still being wet blankets to all those little ideas i spoke to them and to me they're really being so fucked-up and never wants to listen to what i say. i really want to tell them all my problems and they're really not being helpful at all, instead always making me feel worse, making me felt that its so wrong to let them know.

i find myself so pitiful. i need a listening ear.... friends? i'm too ashamed to face them. imagine having to reject them every time they call me out, suddenly got problems then find them... hais.

i really wanna tell u so much things, so much things that i feel sad about, but whenever i'm with u, i just dun want to risk that happy time together because i'm afraid that it wouldn't exist anymore le...

i'm really happy being with u, spending all the time with u and more glad that till now you dun complain me of being to sticky to you. see you so tired everyday le, morning so early wake up, i really dun want to add anymore problems to your shoulders.

once when i really miss you alot, i just blurted out to my friends that i miss my gf.. at that time i thought i was talking to myself or something but i just said it out. i was thinking too much.



AIYA DUNNO WHAT I'M TALKING LA. FUCK. ALL THESE SHITS ALWAYS HAPPEN TO ME. TAKE A KNIFE AND STAB ME NOW AND I WOULD NOT FEEL THE PAIN BECAUSE I'VE FELT THE WORST ALREADY.