Saturday, December 31, 2005 . 3:06 PM

here goes:

1. to lead a happier life.
2. to quit being a musician( i gonna quit music! yay )
3. to study hard???!!!( i really hope so! )
4. make more friends( i'll be friendlier ! )
5. to win at least one dota comp with team xex.
6. not to rush my projects last minute.
7. attend lectures and not miss any lessons.
8. to attend my first lecture on entrepruenership(spelt wrongly) which i missed all of them.
9. lose more weight.
10. lastly i pray i could fufill the resolutions i made.

alex lost his eye. jasmine and alex.

more to come in the future..............

the marche card.

i kept pushing the limits of myself. i kept lying to myself. i kept running away from the truth i know. i kept fabricating what i feel. sometimes i feel that i just couldn't go on anymore. sometimes i feel that i should just give up and not let my life revolve around yours. i feel so tired. ZzZzZz

Monday, December 26, 2005 . 6:15 PM

i couldn't stop crying

when i think of our past

because i realise

that you might not be there anymore

in my future.

Sunday, December 25, 2005 . 1:05 AM

all i want for christmas is not any presents...

i just hope we can stay together for all our time to come...

you're the best thing that ever happened to my life and i really can't bear to see us apart...

i love you and i always will.

Saturday, December 24, 2005 . 3:05 PM

"Don't Leave Me"

Don't leave me all alone
Just drop me off at home
I'll be fine, it's not the first
Just like last time, but a little worse

[Chorus:]
She said that I'm not the one that she thinks about and
She said it stopped being fun, I just bring her down
I said, "don't let your future be destroyed by my past."
She said, "don't let my door hit your ass."

One more chance, I'll try this time
I'll give you yours, I won't take mine
I'll listen up, pretend to care
Go on ahead, I'll meet you there

[Chorus]

Let's try this one more time with feeling
One more time with feeling [x3]

[Chorus]

Don't leave me all alone
Just drop me off at home
And I'll be fine

Thursday, December 15, 2005 . 8:07 PM

i have a fear of losing you. i fear we would never be together again. my heart feels like a fallen leaf on stagnant water, waiting to sink deeply and never resurface again. i never took you for granted. i really try my best to give you my all. when good things come god is too quick to take my everything away. i always cherish those little times we spent together. everything seemed so real to me now. the ghost of myself start haunting me, letting out an evil laughter. despising me and kicking me even when i'm in pain. even when i cry.

what i have now is memories of our past. i do remember every little thing we did. they are the tissues to my tears. besides the ever sweet memories, i have nothing now. i feel so empty, feel so depressed. i'm really tired forcing myself to smile at people everyday when every moment i feel like crying out loud.

i wish one day my tears run dry and i would never cry and better be blind. i wish one day my ears would bleed so i never have to hear anything again. i'm really not afraid to die. god would you be so kind to grant my wish of dying in my sleep? so that i never have to wake up feeling depressed, forcing myself to smile, wanting to cry every moment and thinking of you every second.

i would take those memories with me, they were the best days of my life.

Wednesday, December 14, 2005 . 10:08 PM

fuck.

the fake smiles are curtains,
to how i really feel.
it's never too late for me to die,
never too late to change. Do you ever feel like breaking down?
Do you ever feel out of place?
Like somehow you just don't belong
And no one understands you
Do you ever wanna run away?
Do you lock yourself in your room?
With the radio on turned up so loud
That no one hears you screaming

No you don't know what it's like
When nothing feels all right
You don't know what it's like
To be like me

To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life

Do you wanna be somebody else?
Are you sick of feeling so left out?
Are you desperate to find something more?
Before your life is over
Are you stuck inside a world you hate?
Are you sick of everyone around?
With their big fake smiles and stupid lies
While deep inside you're bleeding

No you don't know what it's like
When nothing feels all right
You don't know what it's like
To be like me

Saturday, December 03, 2005 . 6:12 PM

blogging for friday ...

holy fuck! i went to school today just to attend one hour of practical lesson! so fucking shit right! just one hour... lolx. here's some pictures taken by my lil' motorola phone. not clear.... but viewable...