Wednesday, May 31, 2006 . 12:53 PM
whatever doubts i've told her already and i guess more or less the probs in my heart had been solved. on sunday night baby came to wait for me at my lan shop.... after i knock off we went to macdonalds to sat and chat and went to the place we became together afterwards... she was really sweet! she gave me this frame inside with a mirror and a mickey mouse and sprayed the whole frame glittering gold... =) was lost for words when i saw it... all i could say is simple thank you .. i was soo touched.then it was monday, we went to macdonalds for breakfast and went to her house to slack a little while... afterwards we went to century square to watch 'the da vinci code'... yea the movie rocks as much as the novel... i wanna watch it again!!! ok before the movie i bought a tamagotchi for her... and after the movie i bought one for myself so we could play together... lols... its really cute, and we're loving it! =P we then met her family and went to loyang point's party world for ktv... baby kept laughing at her dad's singing and i couldn't help but laugh too... =x i went home at around 3 on monday, baby fell asleep on my laps...
was suppose to attend my orientation yesterday, but i woke up late! ahahaha... maybe didn't sleep for the whole night... omg.. she stayed up, wait til morning and prepared yummy egg sandwiches and came outside my house wanting to give me ... but stupid me was a pighead and slept til 8.30.... i called her went i woke up and she already went to whitesand.... okay so i met her at whitesand... was very touched again... yea... i swear i'll never doubt her again... not anymore in near future... =) went to downtown east to play arcade and then went back to her house............
the past two days was really sweet for me, i finally dared to tell her whats wrong... and i don't feel as stressed anymore... =) hope that things would go smoothly from now on...
Saturday, May 27, 2006 . 2:51 PM
reading alex's blog never fails to touch me. even if its my like 20 times reading it and he didn't update for 5 months now! lols.gave me a rush of motivation, but how long will it last?
ok i will treasure the things that existed and not think about the things that will not come true or are impossible. if other good things come that'll be a bonus, now that there are things for me to treasure and love, i'll do just that.
'be happy', i kept reminding myself today...
maybe some things are just meant to be that way. haiiisss.. my mum nags like hell. next mothers day i'm gonna make her an award stating the most long winded person ever!! yea she'll be happy!
shit happens, i just poo and it felt sooo good. wa ha ha !
ok la i thought it through, no use being unhappy la. and i wun do anymore unnessesary stuff hoping to be appreciated. yeah if i'm so unwanted then be it. not proud of me then be it also. wad can i do... i'm a freaking nutcase la. never never ever turn to love for comfort. its short-term not for long. trust me.
lol i told my colleague how i treated her and he was like 'wow, i wun do that, u siao.' ya i siao lo. even if i how siao she wun bother la ...
omg la i'm blogging in singlish here. shit. not reading any news lately cuz spend my time reading on soccer! world cup fever... yea~ i wanna enjoy!!! yea my school starting really soon, another challenge in my life.
sometimes its really tiring to be the one to love and love. yes i wanna swap roles, even if its for one day it'll make me feel better. but thats impossible.
totally suck la. suckass. i can challenge king kong to a fight and win it now! fucktard. lack of updates cuz i've been really busy lately... work, sleep and accompanying my darling! =P
nowadays i think too much, even now, stressing myself alot. gosh i really feel bad doubting her... can't blame much on a super sensitive person like me. =(
i still have a long way to go, lotsa time to play, but why am i seeing myself getting more and more commited to this relationship even when i feel so insecure. haisss. this troubles me. maybe because i love her too much til i didn't have any left for myself. am i stupid? i was, once and i didn't want to repeat that mistake again. zzzzzzzzzz. =(
wwhherrree iisss daa luurveee ? ? ? >_<
maybe i shouldn't care too much or think too much. if everything is just so fated that way then be it. i don't wanna be unhappy anymore. every good thing comes with a heavy price. for me, its an utter mental torture i've to go through, only to forget part of it while i'm playing game. where's the old me...
i dun wanna meet my friends tmr! the whole day i've been feeling so down. i totally messed my thoughts and sat there shivering behind the counter. who can i talk to... only to myself. i understand myself best and all this while the brave me had been consoling the stupid me.
=x
ok no time for these shits now, else i would breakdown and start drinking again. shitass!
i just need.......... to find my way back to that lovely sweet path again.
slap me from all these!!!! =(
Saturday, May 20, 2006 . 1:50 PM
i feel so empty, so tired.all that i want is just dreams that can never be real.
i'm beginning to doubt.
i couldn't feel anything at all.
maybe i just ain't good-looking or good enough for u.
Friday, May 19, 2006 . 12:32 AM
one thing to add!i think in love its better to stay with a person who loves u, treats u good, than loving a person who doesn't really love u...
okok! just came to my mind so i tot i share with u...
nitezzzzz !!! seeing a person u loved hugging another guy is really a heart-breaking thing.... well thats the past, i tried to forget everything about it but i can't. there's always something that would remind me of that night. i was reminded again today by some stupid tv show.... whenever i think about it i would be very afraid... i would lose every bit of confidence i have and feel very insecure... haiis... i know she's not the type of gal but i can't help feeling that way.... omg... somebody help me!!!!
i try hard to control le... i try not to say stupid things... cuz all i want now is for her to be happy... whatever other things i'll just see to it in the future..
i'm sick now, having a flu and cough... just recovered from slight fever i had yesterday... kept having cold sweats... baby is sick too... just hope that she gets well soon!
meeting baby tomorrow morning... then have to go to work after that at 5.15... zzz... no choice... i don't get money from my parents... wanna learn how to be independent just like baby did... that's one of the things i admire about her...=)
ok gonna get some rest now... good nite and good bye !!!!! =P
Wednesday, May 17, 2006 . 12:55 PM
i'm soooo happy being with baby... i feel so lucky to have such a wonderful gal by my side. i'm lost for words to describe how wonderful she is.i don't know how to tell her how much i love her in words, maybe in the things i do, she'll know how much i love her. .. =)
school is starting really soon, 5th of june~ argghhh. abit don't want school start so fast cuz i know will have lesser time for her. ....
she's at work now and i'm missing her badly... i spent the past 3 days with her and time seemed to past really really fast.... hope that can meet her on thurs... she's meeting her best friend and i don't wanna interrupt... but i really wanna meet her... oh well, maybe just have to wait til saturday???
i'm starting to play a new game to kill my boredom, silkroad~~~
okay update more later! bye...
Friday, May 12, 2006 . 4:38 PM
baby is in dilemma on which school to study... actually i think any school is fine as long as she work hard sure can make it de.. nvm where she study, as long as she's happy there can alr lo...
going to work soon le, meeting her first before work. gonna shit and bathe now...
byebye!
Wednesday, May 10, 2006 . 4:05 PM
| You're an Expert Kisser |
 You're a kissing pro, but it's all about quality and not quantity You've perfected your kissing technique and can knock anyone's socks off And you're adaptable, giving each partner what they crave When it comes down to it, your kisses are truly unforgettable |
LOL !!!!
| Your Love Life Secrets Are |
 Looking back on your life, you will only have one true love. You've been deeply wounded in the past, and you're still recovering from that hurt. You prefer a quirky, unique person to be your lover. You're easy going about who you're with, as long as they love you back. In fights, you seek compromise and back down from conflict. You always try to smooth things out. Break-ups can be painful for you, but you never show it. You hold your head high. |
i got no money to shop tomorrow... shit.. thought i can save money but its all gone again... left only about 12 bucks in my wallet! dun wanna take from parents... i know i can survive... friday and sat pay is alot... ard 200 add together... so should be ok ... i'll not buy anything tmr lo... wanna pei baby go mdis enquire on some courses...
no matter what happens, i'll be there for baby, this i promised myself... i couldn't ask for anything more from her, she's just so... perfect! hahas..
working later at 6.30 .... sian ar... ok la ... today wednesday so should be quite relaxed... friday and saturday would be hell.... lols...
ok gonna haf a puff now... good bye ! =)
i love my sweetiehoneybaby! =P
Tuesday, May 09, 2006 . 12:53 PM
gonna meet baby later... fetch her from school then send her to work... then just hang around wait for her to end work before sending her home... lols.yea, my day gonna be like that, but its ok la.... part of love is about sacrificing... i sacrifice abit so that she can be happy... but wad am i gonna do while she's at work?? haven think of it yet, maybe smoke and smoke til i die lo.... =x
i know my day would be kinda boring, nevertheless i'm still looking forward to meet baby later...
i just want more time with her now... cuz if i start school, we'll have even lesser time for each other.. taking this time to build up a bond that nothing in this world could break it.... =p sounds cool huh. lols.
aiya.... ok i go pufff le. BYE.
Saturday, May 06, 2006 . 6:06 AM
damn! yeah, i just got home.... at around 5.30am! oh gosh... had a shower and now i'm blogging with a cup of kopi-o ... took a night-rider home to save money.... it's only 3 bucks... so i can keep 7 bucks of that taxi-fare from boss as an extra cash.... not i stingy la, is when i alone don't need spend so much.... scared with deardear the time no money spend...seriously, i feel very stressed. alot of things had been bothering me lately. i'm afraid that if i pour everything out to baby, she'd get upset. haiis... well, maybe i'll feel alright again next few days... i need a hug now! .... first thing i gonna do when i see baby in the morning is to get my big hug!!
lol i sound like a 12 yr old girl who's having puppy love. gosh! hahaha. ok but i really do need a hug.
my plans for today.... yeah i'm not sleeping, waiting til the sun-rise then i go and change and meet baby... accompanying her to school to hand in her mc and sending her to work.... after that meeting my friends at 12pm at douby ghoat mrt for dota! lols...
i'm gonna be very very very tired tomorrow.... must endure til tomorrow 5am plus before i can have a good sleep.
really really hoped that she'll not have a change of heart. i'm doing my best already, sometimes even a little more than i could go. its the first time i put in so much time and effort to really do and cherish something. yea, its my relationship with her.... really hoped that our love would last this lifetime. though it maybe just a short span of 2months plus, but now, in my heart i know that she's the one for me...
in my life for the first time ever... i'm true to myself, cherishing something that i thought i would never trust again.
=) omg i gonna stay awake!!! argggghhhh....
Friday, May 05, 2006 . 5:47 PM
gonna work soon... now using my workplace's comp ... zzz... til 3am leh... sian arx..miss deardear alot... dunno if she sian of me anot leh...cuz it seemed so..
gonna play dota with my team mates tmr and sunday also dota day... not that i hooked to the game or what is just that i have to find sth to do while not being with deardear... if not damn sian de...
i've put on weight la ... confirm de... haisss... lols... nv exercise alr.. and not enuf sleep.
shit man.
OK I REALLY REALLY MISS HER....
looking forward to see her tomorrow... just that 2 hrs? we'll be together... hais... better than nothing la. =S
Wednesday, May 03, 2006 . 4:17 PM
SAD.HAIS. hais... baby got make up lesson tmr. tot can pei her the whole day... haiya.. nvm la... shouldn't be interfering with her school time...
kaori just msged me asking me to join her new band... hais... i really wanna play music again... but dunno leh....
zzz...
I MISS MY DEARDEAR.....
SIIIAN AR....
working til 3am today.
boring boring.
Tuesday, May 02, 2006 . 11:14 AM
gosh i woke up feeling damn sad today. i had the same dream again. this time got one part she was running i was chasing her... dunno for what. haaiiis. nvm... its my own prob. not anyone's.
i realised one funny thing. in love, we always leave the person who love us and love the person who will leave us. think about it, is kinda true right. haiss.
can't wait to work tomorrow. i'm broke. i need cash.
i want a formal from topman, a camo berms and my fred perry bag!!! yeah tis's my aim for this two weeks. and before school opens, i'll go msia to stock again....
if she decides to leave me someday, i'll just let her go... what's the point of asking her to stay when the feelings had already faded. but if she wants to return one day, i'll accept and love her even more because in my life i know that only a few to whom my love is true...
Monday, May 01, 2006 . 4:27 PM
i'm really happy. its going stronger...i finally found the aim in my life....
=)
yesh, i get to be with baby the whole day tmr!
absolutely love being with her.
she gives me happiness, more than i could ever ask for.
and she tells me she loves me with her heart, it never lies.
well, i really can't wait for school to start.... so bored playing games and working... finally deep inside i realised that we're so meant for each other =P
yesh, i'm lazy to upload those photos from geri's birthday, well u can view some on my friendster..
