Monday, January 09, 2006 . 6:33 PM

my friend told me today that i shouldn't be thinking too much, shouldn't be stressing myself so much, because if i do, diseases like cancer will come quickly to me. so don't be surprised if i get cancer next year or so, and if i die, please remember me, i'll be happy. let's all hope that i'll get brain tumour or lung cancer or something. i feel so unwanted in this fucking shit world that the super god created.

he never really answered any of my prayer. the time he does is when i had already broken down. it's really hard to pick myself up again, trying to savour the things i prayed for being granted. fuck that man. this world is sick. before i even try to make things up, he had already granted me the death sentence. i'm so condemned.

i feel so proud of myself being able to take all these shits i'm going through right now. really.

i've said it once, let me say it again. fuck my parents. i would never, ever regard them as parents in my heart. fucking assholes.

i've beared to much. i kept too much to myself. it's not like i don't want to talk to anyone. i just couldn't find anyone real to talk to. no one could ever understand how i feel. even you guys reading this now may think i'm a nut-case talking rubbish cuz i got no topic to write about. yeah, fuck that.

i tried too hard, till each day that passes by just adds on to my misery.

how wonderful it'll be to live in a fairy-tale, everything would be beautiful. but in this real world, everything turns out ugly, well, at least for me.